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Do the Washingtopn Caps Practice Correctly?

With the massive disparity between the Home Team Washington Capitals and the Away Team Washington Capitals (see: Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson), there is the temptation to attempt to understand just why this unit can be two teams at once. Are they used to their Sertas at home? Is the team bus/train/plane/hotel uncomfortable? Do they miss the crappy ice at the Verizon Center? Are they intimidated by the opponents’ fans? Just what is the cause of a complete 180 in the performance of the powerplay AND penalty kill? Are the Caps practicing correctly?

Interesting. Ok, I’m listening…

We’ve witnessed for years this Caps team struggle with odd game times, watching them flounder and sleepwalk through many a 12:30, 3 or 5 pm game. Do they need to vary their practice times, starting some days at 8am and other days at 1pm? Skate for 30 minutes one day and 90 minutes the next? I’ve tried P90X… it’s about confusion in the workout routine. Perhaps the Caps need some confusion in their routine.

You’ve tried P90X? Sure doesn’t look like it…

Ok, fine… I’ve read about it. That’s not the point. Maybe some practices away from the perks of Kettler are in order. It’s the nicest training facility around… how can you not feel at home there? It’s comfortable and cushy. So many fans show up for a mid-week practice, it’s like they’re playing a game in Phoenix! Make them feel like the Indians in Major League. Throw them to the wolves back at Piney Orchard for a while.

‘The wolves’? Piney isn’t that bad…


Yes it is. Hell, even Cabin John is scummy compared to Kettler! Make things less familiar. Make it feel like the road. Then practice there. Have the Zam driver gouge the ice up and leave big chunks lying around. Maybe we Caps fans should show up in Rangers blue and taunt, jeer and heckle our beloved Caps in order to help them succeed. “CAN YOU HEAR US!?”

Rangers’ jerseys? That’s taking it a bit too far. Next you’ll be asking to pipe in the Madison Square Garden stink too…

WHY NOT!? Anything to jar these guys out of whatever is making them stink on the road. This team would be in much more familiar territory if they were simply an average road team. They’re not, and now they’re fighting FLORIDA for a playoff spot!? Unacceptable!

What about last night? What happened there? That was a home game…

It was the Sharks. We always suck against the Sharks.

Profound…

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