I was having a pretty good morning, and then when lunchtime hit I started reading through the news on NHL.com. That’s when I came across their daily poll and I lost my appetite.
I know they have a love affair with Pittsburgh and a major market segment is Canada, but this is going too far.
Poll Choice #1: First of all, the Capitals should have been raising the Stanley Cup banner this year. Watching the Bruins do it is going to be like drinking nasty cough syrup, it really burns on the way down, but you realize you have to swallow it and move on. Then you have heartburn for a really long time afterwards.
Poll Choice #2: Don’t even get me started here. It’s not bad enough I only recently got over the nightmares about this guy, but he has to come back from the dead. Not only has Jaromir Jagr scored more cheap playoff game-winning goals against the Caps than any other player in NHL history, but he’s still my least favorite player of all time. I hate him even more than Mario Lemieux who seemed to come back from the dead more times than Dracula. If anyone still has a Jagr Caps jersey, it’s time to burn it in effigy. The worst would be if he returns to Pittsburgh. I’m pretty sure my nightmares will return.
Poll Choice #3: Yuck. Let’s think about that for a second…no. As good as Crosby is for marketing the game, I’d rather not have the Caps’ biggest rival re-armed. I mean I know it’s going to happen, but I’m not looking forward to it. It’s kinda like you’re 8 and you just had the best summer vacation ever but you know school is around the corner where you’ll have to see the milk-money-stealing bully again, you know that kid who grows a wispy mustache way too young? You just try to enjoy your vacation and not think about it until it happens.
Poll Choice #4: At least this doesn’t make my stomach turn, but I just really don’t care about Edmonton. Not “let’s see how the re-tooled Caps will steamroll the division,” no, it’s “baby-faced 18 year-old kid who plays in hockey purgatory who might get a 50-point rookie season.” Snore.
Poll Choice #5: Oh boy!! Let’s add insult to injury! I was excited about Winnipeg when I thought the PHOENIX COYOTES were going there, not the Atlanta Thrashers. The NHL, in their infinite wisdom, decided to keep the Jets in the Southeast Division for next season, never mind that the’re closer to the Yukon Territory than they are to Pensacola. Let’s see how excited I am about this. So, the Caps have to make three trips out West this year to play there and they play all the games at 8:30, which means I likely won’t be able to stay up for the end. Oh, and I own a Winnipeg Jets jersey, which is really cool, but I won’t be able to wear it for a whole year now, the first year the Jets are back, because someone put a Western Canadian team in the Southeast Division! Thanks, guys.
So, if I had to pick, I guess it’d be “baby-faced 18 year-old kid who plays in hockey purgatory who might get a 50-point rookie season,” but seriously, NHL.com, I’m expecting much better from you tomorrow. You had better make it up to me.