Sometimes there is an enigma so deep that it overwhelms even the most knowledgeable Capitals hockey fan. And for these questions, we turn to the Great Zamboni – the power that has more answers than Google, and is more reliable than Dave Steckel in the face off circle (if that’s even possible). Even Chuck Norris consults the Great Zamboni from time to time, but he won’t admit it to anyone.
Today’s question for the Great Zamboni comes from Rock The Red reader GREENwENVY who ponders:
Remember that game we all played in elementary school at recess, Red Rover? You know where there’s two teams, each team holds hands, and then yells “Red Rover, Red Rover, I dare (fill in name here) to come over!” and then the person who is called has to run as fast as they can to the other side and try to break through a link (hand hold)? If you get through, you go back to your team – if you get stuck, you have to join that team?
If you were forming a Red-Rover team of NHL players – who would your team consist of?
<whirrs to life>Choosing a Red Rover team is as important a decision as any weak spot will be immediately exploited and members will be removed from your team. Like Indiana Jones while chasing the Last Crusade, be sure to “choose wisely.” That means not employing older-than-time itself Chris Chelios, not calling on oft-injured Martin Havlat, and most importantly not relying on a crybaby who can’t take a hit like Sidney Crosby. My (world champion) team’s roster would read as follows:
Alex Ovechkin – With his speed, size and power, he will have a “Bull In a China Shop” factor about him and be awesome at Red Rover;
Marty Brodeur – No one can break through the pudgy strong kid (especially not with goalie experience);
Max Talbot – One mean fellow when necessary, plus he’s got that small guy determination & pretty good foot speed;
David Koci – A goon that people shouldn’t be able to break through and if they do, he’ll play dirty next time. He’s also a good heckler and pest (who might even cheat for you);
Dustin Bfyuglien – speed, strength, and height;
Mike Cammalleri – This guy’s so small, you’d try to break through and instead get whalloped in the cacajuates;
Matt Bradley – Because he’ll run head first into anything – and everyone Needs More Bradley.
There you have it! Be sure to tune in next week to find out what other knowledge GZ drops on us. Again, if you have any questions or concerns you’d like to put before the Great Zamboni,
… and if we use your question, we’ll mail you a sticker for free!