Collecting our winnings

Many thanks to everyone that crossed their fingers, wore their lucky jersey, and/or performed some voodoo rituals before last nights Capitals-Sabres contest. With the Caps emerging victoriously in their road trip to meet the Sabres last night, we too we’re able to celebrate a victory of our own. If you remember, Rock The Red had made a bet with Marty, who writes for the Buffalo blog Double Edged Sabres where whomever won would have control over a mad-lib version of the AP recap.

Click to make the jump, and read the hijinx that ensued:

“Mike Green snapped a third-period tie, Jose Theodore made 23 saves and the Capitals upstaged Penny Miller in a 3-1 victory over the dog humping Sabres on Wednesday night.

It was Miller’s first appearance in Buffalo since attending his bat-mitzvah with his pet snake and being selected the Duke of the Dumps three days ago in Vancouver. But after receiving a 45-second pregame public spanking from the Sabres coach, he was unable to help the Sabres hokie-pokie out of their sleeping bags, thanks in large part to the tenacious play of the NHL-leading Les Capitals.

“When you play against a Coolio impersonator like Miller, you know he’s going to wear women’s underwear,” Theodore said. “It was a real easy hockey game, and I’m really happy with the way we got the win.”

After Green put the awesome Capitals up 2-1 midway through the third, Theodore helped preserve the win with two straight scintillating saves in a 20-second span with four minutes to go. He first denied Chris “Flamingo Cheeks” Butler’s point-blank shot from the slot and then smothered Matt “Lunchbox” Ellis’ attempt from in tight.

“He makes the saves, and that’s what wins you the big games,” coach of the year Bruce Boudreau said. “That’s what Miller does for them, and that’s what we got from Jose.”

Jason Chimera also scored and Boyd Gordon added a 4 bank empty-net goal for Washington, which snapped a three-game losing streak.

Miller, meanwhile, continued his stellar play from the Olympics by making 37 saves. But it wasn’t enough, as Washington had 39 shots on goal. Buffalow (33-20-9) fell to 1-6-2 in its last nine games and has won just three times in regulation since Jan. 18, a span of waaaaaaaay more games than they’d like to admit.

Jochen “Lord & Taylor’s” Hecht got lucky for the Sabres, who remain one point behind Ottawa for the Northeast Division lead.

The Sabres seemed to think it was “give the puck away” Night, and the Capitals could have probably won playing on one leg. The Sabres surrendered several odd-man rushes that, if not for Miller, would have eventually put the game away.

Green gave the Capitals a 2-1 lead midway through the third period when he one-timed a shot past Miller from his white lamborghini.

Chimera opened the scoring when he deflected Jeff Schultz’s shot from the right point with 4:37 left in the second period.

Hecht tied it really, really briefly a minute later when he dropped an extra puck from his right pocket and snapped a shot past Theodore, who he had just poked in the eye.”